Why you can’t develop emotional intelligence ?
Why is it important, why you can’t develop it, and how can you change it ?
Well to start of, the concept of emotional intelligence is not that old as you might think, because it was delivered by Peter Salavoy and John D. Mayer in the year 1990.
However, it only got more attention after publisihion of book called “Emotional Intelligence” by Daniel Goleman in 1995.
What is it ?
The shortest theoretical point of view what it is, would sound like this
Emotional intelligence is the ability to understand and manage emotions, both in oneself and in others, leading to better relationships and decision-making.
Why is it important ?
For me the level of how important this ability is by measuring of how can you use it for your personal benefits.
And that’s why it is important because from theory we can see, that it will help not only in persuading others, but also in managing your emotions for better decision-making or happier life at the end of the day.
Why can’t you develop it, and How can you change it ?
While there are many factors, which occur in our normal day to day life I’ll be explaining only 4 I’d say main problems.
Lack of awareness
Since you’re already reading this article you have succesfuly solved your first problem which is awareness of what it is actually.
If you don’t know, what it is you can’t truly focus on developing seems obvious.
Understand the impact, and the benefits of Emotional Intelligence in your normal life. Educate yourself about different componets, such as, self-awareness, empathy and social skills.
Role Models
This one could be tough, for some of us, but why ?
Because our first ever role model in life is the person we spend most of the time for our first about 7–13 years of life.
Now I’m talking about our parents, and I’m not saying it’s bad because many of us were raised with the standards of our place of living.
But on the same side, many people are raised in pathological families in which alcohol could be even the smallest problem.
In other words if you were born in some unconvenient environment for you, well unlucky for you my friend, the world is not fair and everyone should know that.
Remember don’t get discouraged by my words, even when you’re older you can still make changes by seeking a proper role model in your personal or professional circle, so don’t blame everything on your parents.
Self-reflection
Why this one is even harder ? Because we have to much pride.
The first step in recognizing a human being, is recognizing the closest human being to you. This person is you
The resistance could be high, when it comes to changing some of ours most basic patterns or habits in life.
This point is about self-reflection which tells us to go 1 step backward in order to understand our behaviour, and after that go 2 step forward out of our comfort zone.
Self reflection also comes with managing emotions on it’s own.
There is many possibilities of how can you do it.
But for me in every possibilite, there is one concept which happens everywhere
- Recognize your emotion
- Analyze is that necessary to react that way
- React for your likeable outcome
When reality meets expectations
It’s not a good feeling when you think you can develop your emotional intelligence in a couple of months, and then you feel discouraged because after all of this hard work, probably nothing changed.
Developing emotional intelligence is not a task or a quest, which you can do in a couple of months.
It’s a journey which maybe doesn’t even end.
My advice for you is not to looking at your goal as something achievable.
Try to look at it as improving every day by little, build a habit by searching through your life and asking yourself each day, what you need to change in order to be better.
If you get discouraged, try to make it look fun, then you will do it with pleasure.
Also you can for instance celebrate something like “small victories” so you could actually see that this works.
That will be it for this article.
Thank you everyone, who had read it till the end !
I wish you the best, and be emotionally smart ❤
Till the next time !
